Young children are sensitive to several factors in their surroundings, which could break or make their self-belief and self-worth. Hence, it is important to understand how to build confidence in kids to create a secure self-image with self-respect at the core of their being. Being confident is essential for children since it plays a major role in determining their success in academics and other fields of interest. It also enables them to confront their challenges to reach their long-term goals. This post will help you with understanding how to build confidence in kids and offer some confidence-building activities for children.

In This Article

Key Pointers

Building children’s confidence can be achieved by encouraging them to participate in activities they enjoy, such as sports, music, or art.
Boosting children’s confidence can also be done by setting achievable goals for them and helping them feel a sense of accomplishment.
Children can develop their social skills and confidence in working with others by encouraging them to collaborate through team sports or group projects.
To improve children’s confidence and self-esteem, teach them positive self-talk, encourage them to focus on their strengths, and acknowledge their efforts.

How To Build Confidence In Children

Building confidence in children requires consistent effort and acknowledgment. As children grow older, their self-esteem and confidence reflect in their personalities and eventually shape their lives. So here are some tips to help build a child’s confidence:

Be a role model: Show your child how to be smart and confident through how you overcome difficult situations. Even when you don’t feel your best, try to carry yourself with confidence and be a source of guidance for them.

Avoid getting excessively upset: Getting upset over minor things that don’t work out as planned will set a bad example for your child. Instead, show patience, pick yourself up, and face situations with a positive approach.

Express your love: Children require love and attention, the lack of which may cause them to assume that they are incapable of being loved. Excessive assertiveness and failure in listening to them may affect their overall confidence, hinder their personality development, and their ability to self-love.

Quick tip

Tell your child you love them and hug and kiss them as often as possible. These verbal and physical expressions help them grow as loving and empathetic individuals.

Cheer for their successes: When your child accomplishes a task, even a small one, acknowledge it and appreciate them. Even the little achievements are big, so ignoring them may demotivate them.

Allow imperfections: Often, things may not go as planned, leading to small disturbances in your child’s development. Your child needs your support and encouragement to overcome those setbacks confidently in such situations. Handle such situations with empathy and it will work wonders for your child.

Let them showcase their ideas: Encourage your child to talk and indulge in communication to express how they feel about things. They will only respect you and your ideas if you do the same for them. In addition, giving them the confidence to speak up helps build self-esteem in children.

Encourage them to try something new: Allow them to find their interests early on. For example, introduce a physical activity or various hobbies, such as dance, music, sports, or craft, and let them choose their favorite.

Point to consider

Do not force your child to pursue something they have no interest in just because you like it or your child’s peers are pursuing it. Your child will lose interest quickly.

Acknowledge their differences: Each child has different abilities. Some may be more intellectually smart, while some may be creative or excel in sports. Help them shine in the field they choose instead of forcing them to pursue your interests.

Teach them how to embrace failure: Young children may be demotivated after experiencing failure. Thus, they should learn how to deal with failure, stand up, apply their problem-solving skills, and try harder. As parents, be supportive and encourage them to keep trying.

Applaud their perseverance and hard work: When your child has worked consistently toward achieving something, applaud their hard work even if they don’t achieve their goal. This shows that winning is not as important as learning from the experience.

Set achievable goals: Unrealistic goals only cause children to feel demotivated and stop trying if they don’t achieve them. Therefore, set short-term goals and plan easy targets that your child can achieve with some effort. The sense of accomplishment they experience will motivate them to work harder.

You would’ve heard the common saying, ‘Practice makes a man perfect.’ Similarly, the realistic goals you have set with your child need regular practice to be achieved. Monica, a mother of three, talks about her experience of being a shy child herself and also raising her shy daughter. Emphasizing the importance of practice, she says, “My daughter and I have been practicing what to say to strangers and acquaintances and practicing body language: looking at someone when they speak to you, smiling, waving, standing tall. Start small and work your way up to bigger things.

Do remember

Instead of saying, “You must score A’s this year!” you can say, “I want you to do your homework daily.” Such small goals ultimately bring the best results.

Don’t compare them to others: Accept your child for what they are. Drawing comparisons with other children leads to insecurity and jealousy, causing a negative development of self-acceptance. It also restricts the child from mastering the skills they are interested in.

Allow independent decision-making: Give your child space and independence to make small decisions. This empowers them and makes them feel eligible to control small tasks in their daily life.

Focus on their strengths: Instead of pointing out their faults and weaknesses, pay attention to their strengths. Praise them for it and then encourage them to use those strengths to improve themselves. This will motivate them to perform better in their favorite activities.

Give them responsibilities: Start by assigning them small tasks around the household, such as watering the plants every day. Even if they do not enjoy the chores, they will unknowingly gain confidence from feeling needed around the house.

Encourage positive self-talk: Help your child practice positive self-talk by teaching them to replace negative thoughts with encouraging words. This can improve their self-esteem.

Give them responsibilities to build confidence

Helping build confidence in children is essential, as research shows that teen girls tend to lack confidence compared with teenage boys. According to a short study, at age 14, most girls experienced their lowest confidence level. As seen in the chart, the level of self-assurance in girls stood at 27% against 30% reported in boys of the same age. These girls described themselves

as anxious and depressed, while the boys seemed more confident and fearless.

Declining self-confidence in young teen girls compared to boys

MalesFemales8 to 1213 to 1718 to 2425 to 3030 to 340102030405060Confidence levelAge

Age	Males	Females
8 to 12	35.44	32.021
13 to 17	30.311	25.959
18 to 24	36.995	32.332
25 to 30	45.699	31.865
30 to 34	52.383	39.948

Confidence Building Activities For Children

Here are some fun activities to help boost confidence in children:

1. Mirror box

For this activity, you need a cardboard box and a mirror. Make a hole in one side and place the mirror facing the opposite side of the hole. Now, ask each child to look inside the box individually and tell you what they see. When they see themselves in the mirror, tell them that they are looking at the most special person. Loving themselves is the key to a more confident and secure personality.

2. Organizing

Activity to help them organize their priorities

Get a piece of paper, pencils, and a ruler. Ask the children to draw four columns: one each for the date, serial number, task to be done, and deadline. This activity will help them organize their priorities. When they are clear about what needs to be done, they will approach tasks more confidently.

3. Self-description

In this group activity, each child should describe themselves positively in five lines. Once done, the group must discuss and add one more line to those five lines. This will make the children feel acknowledged and liked by their peers, boosting their confidence.

Quick tip

Ask your child to make a list of their achievements every month. Include even the smallest achievements like washing a dish or doing their laundry. This activity increases their self-esteem as they realize they can achieve things if they put their mind to it.

4.Dance to the rhythm

Most kids love to dance, but some may be too shy to loosen up. This activity requires you to blindfold all the children and ask them to shake to the music you play. When the children realize no one is watching them, they will feel less shy and let themselves loose. This boosts their confidence by making them comfortable to loosen up.

5. Story building

Encourage children to speak up with this storytelling activity. Start by framing the first sentence, and then ask each child to pitch in by adding the next line to the story. Ensure that everyone receives a turn. Public speaking helps children be more bold and articulate in front of a crowd, thus boosting their confidence.

6. Self-assessment

This activity can be done at the end of each day. Take five minutes to ask the child to remember everything they did throughout the day. Now, ask them if they believe they were good, bad, or moderate and how they can improve themselves the next day. This activity is a great way to deal with issues regarding esteem in children and builds a sense of competence.

7. Cooking

Cooking is an essential life skill that every child should learn. When children cook or bake with their friends or siblings, they engage in multiple tasks such as choosing ingredients, measuring, and following a recipe. Learning cooking will make them self-sufficient and the end results will give them a sense of satisfaction, helping them build confidence.

8. Hiking

Activities such as hiking or rock climbing test children’s resilience and physical fitness. When done in groups, these activities teach the importance of teamwork. It will also encourage children to connect with nature and spend time outdoors. Completing such tasks will give your child a significant boost in confidence.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How can a shy child gain confidence?

If your child is shy, you may help them gain confidence by:

Giving them time to open up and not force them to mingle at gatherings. It may help to not give them too much attention.
Practicing role-playing at home, such as acting as friends with each other or enacting different situations to observe their behavior and help them overcome their shyness.
Not comparing them to others.
Being a role model for them and showing how confident you are.

2. What destroys a child’s confidence?

Some of the things that can destroy a child’s confidence include:

Shielding them from responsibilities
Overprotecting and not allowing them to make mistakes
Shouting at them for making mistakes

3. Why is confidence important in school?

Confidence is important in school because it promotes academic success, enhances social interactions, and boosts overall well-being. When students have confidence in their abilities, they are more likely to participate actively in class, take on challenges, and strive for excellence. This can lead to better academic performance and a positive learning experience. Additionally, confidence allows students to engage with their peers and teachers, fostering healthy relationships and collaboration. Lastly, confidence contributes to a sense of self-worth and resilience, promoting overall well-being and a positive mindset in the school environment.

4. Why do my children lack confidence?

Children may lack confidence due to fear of failure, negative experiences, comparison to others, low self-esteem, bullying, or academic pressure. To boost their confidence, provide a nurturing environment, offer support, focus on their strengths, and encourage them to take risks and try new things.

Some kids acquire confidence quite naturally, whereas others may struggle with a lack of confidence. A confident child who receives positive reinforcement on the daily is more likely to think positively, have a strong self-image, and accomplish tasks more efficiently. In addition, the attitude parents instill in young children helps shape their personality. Therefore, the earlier you start building confidence and healthy self-esteem in children, the better and more beneficial it is for their future.

25 Effective Strategies for Building Confidence in Kids

1. Show Unconditional Love and Support

Let your children know they are loved no matter what. By reinforcing that your affection doesn’t depend on their achievements or mistakes, you help them feel secure in who they are. This unconditional support gives kids a solid foundation to take risks and learn from setbacks without fear of losing your love or approval.

2. Model Positive Self-Talk

Children often mirror our attitudes and words. When they see you talking positively about yourself, they’re more likely to adopt the same approach. Try using encouraging language when discussing challenges and setbacks. For example, instead of saying, “I’m terrible at this,” try, “I’m getting better with each try!” Show them how to replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations.

3. Use Their Name in Encouraging Conversations

Addressing kids by their name during positive exchanges helps reinforce their sense of identity and value. Personalizing conversations by saying, “Great job on that project, Jamie!” or “Thank you for helping today, Sarah!” can have a lasting impact on how they perceive themselves.

4. Create Age-Appropriate Responsibilities

Assigning children tasks that are challenging yet achievable gives them a sense of competence. Whether it’s setting the table, feeding a pet, or helping with a small home repair, giving them responsibilities shows trust in their abilities and fosters confidence. Use encouraging phrases like, “You did a fantastic job on that!” to reinforce their effort.

5. Engage in Child-Led Play

Joining in playtime led by the child helps build confidence by demonstrating that you value their interests. Let them choose the activity and lead the way—whether it’s an imaginative game, a puzzle, or a sport. By allowing them to direct the play, you’re showing trust in their ideas and abilities, which bolsters self-confidence.

6. Emphasize Effort Over Perfection

Praise children for their persistence rather than only focusing on successful outcomes. For instance, instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” say, “I’m proud of how hard you worked on this!” Emphasizing effort encourages a growth mindset, where kids learn that their hard work, not just inherent talent, leads to success.

7. Allow Room for Failure and Growth

Let children experience failure in a safe, supportive environment. Emphasize that making mistakes is part of learning, and help them see setbacks as stepping stones. For example, if they don’t succeed at a sports game or a school project, encourage them to try again and remind them that resilience is built through persistence.

8. Celebrate Achievements (Big and Small)

Make a point of celebrating both major milestones and small achievements to reinforce a sense of accomplishment. Create a “Celebration Wall” at home where you display school certificates, art projects, or pictures of moments when they tried something new. Celebrating these moments reminds them of their abilities and efforts.

9. Encourage Them to Set and Pursue Goals

Help kids set realistic, age-appropriate goals that align with their interests. Guide them in breaking down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. By setting goals and achieving them, children gain a sense of purpose and learn valuable planning and organizational skills.

10. Let Them See Positive Role Models

Kids benefit from having confident, positive role models. Share stories about people who persevered despite challenges, whether it’s a famous athlete, scientist, or someone they know personally. Having role models can inspire children to develop confidence and resilience in the face of obstacles.

11. Focus on Strengths Rather Than Weaknesses

Take time to identify and encourage your child’s unique strengths. Recognize and support activities they naturally excel at, whether it’s drawing, sports, or storytelling. Focusing on strengths, rather than only trying to improve weaknesses, helps children build a positive self-image and confidence in their abilities.

12. Help Them Find Their Passions

Encourage children to explore a variety of activities to discover their interests and talents. When they find something they’re passionate about, whether it’s playing an instrument, writing, or coding, their confidence naturally grows as they develop skills in areas they enjoy.

13. Reinforce the Value of Kindness and Empathy

Teaching children to be kind and empathetic toward others can enhance their self-esteem. When they experience the positive impact of kindness—through compliments, helping others, or sharing—they feel valued and confident in their ability to make a difference.

14. Use Specific and Honest Praise

Be genuine and specific in your praise. Instead of saying, “Good job!” try, “I’m proud of the way you solved that math problem; you really took your time to figure it out.” This approach reinforces their effort and honesty in accomplishments, helping them trust your praise and gain confidence.

15. Resist Comparisons to Others

Avoid comparing your child to siblings, classmates, or friends. Comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment. Instead, focus on their unique journey and personal growth. Remind them that everyone develops at their own pace, and celebrate their individual progress.

16. Make Quality Time a Priority

Spending uninterrupted, quality time with your child shows them they are valuable and worthy of your attention. Whether it’s reading a book together, playing a game, or simply talking, this time helps reinforce their sense of worth and builds a strong foundation for confidence.

17. Encourage Self-Reflection on Achievements

At the end of the day or week, invite your child to reflect on what they accomplished. Ask them to share one thing they feel proud of or a challenge they overcame. This helps them recognize their achievements and understand that even small successes contribute to their confidence.

18. Encourage Friendships with Positive, Uplifting Peers

Guide your child toward friendships with peers who are supportive, kind, and encouraging. Positive friendships help children feel accepted and confident in being themselves. Encourage them to seek out friends who make them feel good about who they are, and to offer the same kindness in return.

19. Create Opportunities for New Experiences

Trying new activities helps children learn they can handle unfamiliar situations, which is crucial for confidence. Whether it’s a new sport, art form, or a hobby like gardening, give them chances to explore. Experiencing these challenges reinforces their sense of capability and adaptability.

20. Foster a “Can-Do” Attitude

Instill a mindset of “I can try” rather than “I can’t.” When they express doubts or fears about a challenge, encourage them to reframe their thinking with phrases like, “I’ll give it a try” or “I’ll do my best.” This approach empowers them to take on tasks with a positive outlook, knowing that effort is more important than perfection.

21. Help Them Develop Problem-Solving Skills

Teach children how to approach problems methodically. Instead of immediately stepping in to help, guide them to break down the issue, brainstorm possible solutions, and try one step at a time. Problem-solving boosts confidence by showing them they have the tools to tackle challenges independently.

22. Acknowledge and Validate Their Feelings

Help kids understand that it’s okay to experience a range of emotions, whether positive or negative. Validating their feelings—without judgment—teaches them emotional resilience and self-acceptance. Reassure them that emotions are normal and that they can express and manage them healthily.

23. Avoid Criticizing Their Efforts or Abilities

When kids make mistakes, offer constructive guidance rather than criticism. Avoid phrases like, “That was wrong” or “You always mess up,” which can be damaging to their confidence. Instead, provide supportive feedback that focuses on what they can improve, with phrases like, “You’re making progress; let’s try it this way next time.”

24. Celebrate Acts of Kindness and Generosity

Highlight moments when your child shows kindness to others, whether it’s sharing with a sibling or helping a friend. Acknowledging these behaviors reinforces the idea that their actions positively impact others and boosts their self-worth, as they see themselves as caring and capable individuals.

25. Reinforce the Importance of Patience and Persistence

Teach children that some skills take time to develop and that patience is a crucial part of success. Encourage them to keep going, even when results aren’t immediate. When they learn to embrace persistence, they build resilience and confidence in their ability to reach their goals over time.

Conclusion: Empowering Confidence for a Bright Future

Raising a confident child involves more than praise—it’s about guiding them to understand their value, respect their abilities, and develop resilience. These strategies create an environment where kids feel supported, capable, and encouraged to explore their potential without fear. By implementing these methods, parents and caregivers can nurture lasting confidence in their children, giving them the tools they need to thrive both now and in the future.

Confidence is a gift that grows through practice, support, and positive reinforcement. Start incorporating these steps today, and watch as your child flourishes into a self-assured individual ready to take on the world.